Whispers in the Night
by ivywatcher
Summary: In the midst of the darkest night, there is always a small ray of hope. At the end of Tabula Rasa, Giles stays. With that pivotal decision, everything changes. A sweet AU that we all wish would have happened.
1. Chapter 1

_**Whispers in the Night**_

**Chapter 1**

Cool night wind swept in from the Pacific and skittered down the streets of Sunnydale, California. It whispered past closed doors and shuttered windows in the form of dewy mist, clinging to rafters and leaving a sparkling sheen on the quiet streets. A humid, blatantly chilly breeze blew through a stone courtyard, chased several empty wrappers around the old fountain in the middle of the space, and then carried on straight towards the Spanish-style apartment only a few feet away. The solid form of a man standing in its path blocked it from the apartment's door.

Rupert Giles cursed softly and pulled the collar of his long coat up to cover his neck, setting down the leather suitcase he carried and rubbing his gloved hands together. He stared at the door to the apartment before him with a mix of melancholy and regret. This had been home, once. He was oddly glad to see the "Renters Apply" sign still taped to the darkened window, and he couldn't help but wonder if the people who had been shown through the rooms within had sensed the inordinate sorrow about the place. Did his tears still stain the air of the loft? Did his pain still linger on the cushions of the sofa, and could they smell the scent of rose petals on the stairs even now, just as he could?

Part of him scoffed that he was being overly sentimental. The other part of him said it wouldn't be surprised, seeing as this was an apartment on the Hellmouth.

He had been here less in the last year or so he'd rented the place, at first because his time had been dedicated to the Magic Box, and later because he could barely stand to be around the memories that lived there.

Memories of her. Of Buffy, his Slayer, who was suddenly, miraculously back from the dead yet again. Well...half of her anyway. The Buffy he had once known, taught and even taken for granted would never appear again. His shattered heart broke a little more at the memory of her face when he'd told her he was leaving. Leaving her, and what was left of his heart with her.

_Why didn't I let her talk me out of this?_ He wondered. He knew the answer, in his brain if not in his heart. _Because she will never be the person she used to be. And if she depends on me for everything, how can she learn to live again?_

It had been impulse that brought him here to his old home one last time before he left for England. Aware that the cab out on the curb was charging him by the minute for this unexpected stop, Giles gave one last look at the home that symbolized everything he was giving up tonight. And then he heaved a sigh, picked up his bag again, and turned to leave Sunnydale—to leave his Slayer—behind for good.

He nearly had a heart attack when he realized someone else was standing there.

Buffy Summers stood at the opposite end of the courtyard, half-hidden in the shadows cast by the fountain. Giles closed his eyes a moment. "How did you find me?"

"Lucky guess. I almost missed you." She took one step forward and the moonlight hit her face, reflecting off the drying tears still lingering on her cheeks. Her blond locks hung in bedraggled curls around her shoulders. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep from breaking down and embracing her and never letting her go again so he could protect her from the big, cruel world. Where on earth were all these urges coming from? He'd never been such an emotional wreck in his life. He had to get out of here.

"Buffy," he murmured, and his voice cracked dangerously. "I can't--I can't do this again. I won't justify myself to you." He stared at her for a long moment, his green eyes stormy with a mix of desperation and hurt. "My cab's waiting. I'll call you from Bath," he finally managed, starting to walk towards the exit behind her.

She remained silent and unmoving until he came abreast of her. It was only then, as he stopped less than a foot from her, that she looked him in the eye for the first time. "I'm sorry, Giles." Quiet resignation filled her voice and her hazel eyes.

He blinked at her in confusion. His brain was slow, and he felt like he wasn't making the connections between her words and the meaning behind them like he normally did. "Whatever for?"

"For screwing up my life so royally that you have to leave to get away from me." She looked away again, her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive gesture. The blunt statement had obviously cost her quite a lot.

Giles_ hated _this. He absolutely could not handle the distance between them, the idea of leaving Buffy in this state without another word. It went against his training, his very natureto cause her pain. He put down his suitcase and put a hand under her chin, trying to bring her gaze back to his. "Buffy." She determinedly avoided his eyes until his second plea brought her face up. "Buffy,_ please_."

When her hazel eyes met his green ones Buffy gasped at the emotion she saw there. She'd had no idea until now how much this abandonment was costing Giles. He looked absolutely miserable, and it wasn't an expression Buffy was used to seeing on him. It was even worse when he began to speak; his voice choked and barely controlled, just louder than a whisper. "What is left of my heart when I leave here will be utterly destroyed if you believe that I think so little of you as to leave just because you're making a right mess of your life."

Her mouth opened and closed a few times as her mind scrambled to find a response. Well, when he put it that way…he had a point.

Maybe he'd always had a point. She was too tired for righteous anger after the day they'd all had.

Shame pricked at her as she looked at this man who had always been with her, even when he should have walked away. As the resentment that had been building in her ever since she regained her memory began to fade, new realization dawned. And for the first time that night, she let herself wonder if Giles was right to leave.

He saw the change come over her face and waited for her to say something. Finally, she did, and her voice was full of realization. "Oh Giles, I am _so_ sorry." He moved to speak again but she shushed him with two fingers over his lips. The contact silenced him far more effectively than her words. "I treated you like crap," she continued matter-of-factly. "No, worse," she said with a wince. "I treated you like my Dad, which you totally didn't deserve. And you _really_ didn't deserve getting Dawn dumped into your lap like you were the one who was supposed to raise her." He stayed quiet, his eyes not refuting her words. She nodded at his unspoken agreement as guilt overtook her.

Like her conscience was trying to pour salt on the wound, her mind flashed back to what she'd been doing only an hour before. She'd been kissing _Spike_, of all people. She had never been more thankful that she had run from something.

And since Giles was already running away from _her_… "Not that you need another reason to hate me," she choked out, looking away again, "but you should know before you leave. I kissed Spike."

Buffy removed her hand from his mouth and stepped back to let him think, fully expecting him either to yell at her or just pick up his bag and leave without another word. She snuck a look at his face to find him staring at her in complete and total shock. OK, she'd sort of expected that too.

"Why?" he finally managed in a voice so lost that her heart ached.

"Because I'm an idiot," she replied, giving him the short version. "And he…" she looked him in the eye again in desperation as she tried to make him understand. "He made me _feel_, Giles. And the only other people to do that since I've…since I've come back were you and Dawn. But Dawn's scared of me and I can't make it better because I can't figure out what's _wrong _and if you're leaving, then who else do I have?" She realized she was crying and she angrily brushed her tears away.

The helplessness in her voice finally tore away the last supports that had been holding up the dam in his heart. As his last barrier gave way, emotions came flooding out of him so fast he couldn't process which one to cope with first. He hadn't slept in days, his life had gotten turned upside down, his heart had gotten smashed to bits for the second time in two months and he was still jetlagged.

Buffy was completely unprepared for the bone-crushing embrace Giles swooped her into. As her arms impulsively went around his shoulders, his arms circled her waist and pulled her off her feet to level their heights, forcing her to wrap her legs around him to keep from falling. One of his arms stayed around her waist and the other moved so his left hand could bury itself in her mussed hair. It was the first time since she'd descended from heaven that someone alive had treated her like she wasn't made of glass, and she relished the feeling.

It didn't matter that this was Giles and that at any other time she would have been completely wigged. Now it felt safe and right and it was such a relief to feel at all and she wasn't letting go. The hand in her hair pressed into her scalp, pushing her head down onto his shoulder so Giles could hold her tighter. Despite the overwhelming display of emotion, he had yet to speak.

Finally the Slayer felt a soft puff of breath next to her ear and then his words came softly, with almost unbearable intensity. "You silly, stubborn, short-sighted, amazingly wonderful girl."

His harsh tone totally clashed with the hug, but Buffy thought they actually kind of made sense together. She didn't know what else to say that hadn't already been said, so she repeated it. "I'm sorry Giles," she whispered fiercely into his neck. "I'm so, _so _sorry."

He eased his hold a bit and she slid to the ground again. His left hand came to cup her cheek and forced her to meet his eyes. "You really do understand, don't you." It wasn't a question, more an awed statement of fact.

Buffy felt relief again, strong enough to make her slump a little. The whole repressing emotions thing was really bad for her; now that she could feel again everything was too strong. "That I've been treating you like everything _except _what you're supposed to be? Kinda getting the idea, yeah." She sighed the last of her sorrow away and got herself under control a little. "I really am sorry, Giles."

"Don't be," he said warmly. Buffy was amazed by the smile on his face; he went through emotions so fast she couldn't keep up. "You understand now. That's all that matters."

She shook her blond head in disbelief. "How can you do that? How can you just forgive all the crap I put you through?"

"The same way that you forgave me three years ago for sticking you with that cursed syringe. Loathe as I am to remind you, Buffy, I'm hardly an innocent party in this relationship."

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, the words "this isn't the same" already on her tongue. She realized with a start that it really _was_the same. He'd gotten their relationship mixed up then, too. He'd treated her as _the_ Slayer instead of _his _Slayer.

They had hurt each other because they were people and people just did that. And they forgave each other and moved on, because what they had was more important…and because they would have gone insane if they hadn't.

Slowly, she nodded her understanding. There was just one last thing that she had to know. "Are you still leaving?" Her voice sounded surprisingly calm to her own ears compared to the hollow ache building inside of her again as she waited for his response.

Giles had wondered when she would ask. To give himself thinking time more than anything, he pulled her into another embrace, amazed that is was so easy to do as he rested his cheek on her golden crown. "What do you think I should do, Buffy?" Half of him prayed with every fiber of his being that she would ask him to stay…and the rest of him begged to be given leave to go. As always, he waited for her to answer.

The Slayer took a deep breath as she considered, pulling back to sit on the cold stone edge of the fountain. Giles sat next to her and they both stared forward for a long, silent minute, not daring to look at each other.

Finally, Buffy spoke. "The selfish part of me wants you to stay. And as much as I do…" she looked up to meet his eyes and her words nearly died in her throat. _No,_ she cajoled herself sternly. She would do this. She had to be strong for him. "The rest of me thinks that you should have your chance to be done with this." At his confused expression she explained, "Well when I died, that was supposed to be it for you, right? You're the Watcher, the Slayer dies, you go on with your life. And then I came back and you had to give up your chance at doing something else to come and take care of me." Her eyes softened with understanding. "To take care of all of us." She blinked quickly and looked away, staring off into a dark corner of the courtyard as she finished. "So I think you should go. You should go get that life away from all of this, because you deserve it." After another moment she hesitantly raised her head, risking a glance at his face. "…Does that make any sense?"

Giles stared at her with something akin to awe. His expressive eyes shone as they traced her face. Still, though, he did not speak. His entire form was utterly still as his gaze swept over her, watching her like he had never really seen her before. Perhaps he hadn't. With a slow shake of his head, a smile began to edge the corners of his mouth. "You do realize that after all of that, I could never actually leave."

She smiled then, and it was the first truly joyful expression he had seen from her since the weeks before she'd died. "That was the plan," she affirmed with twinkling eyes.

For the first time in months, Giles laughed. He laughed until he could barely breathe, a spontaneous outpouring of joy that he couldn't--and didn't want--to stop. Then Buffy began to giggle as well, for no reason other than that his laughter was contagious. Soon she was laughing helplessly too, and they had to lean against each other for support. When they finally got themselves more or less under control, Giles stood and offered Buffy his hand. She took it with a smile and let him pull her to her feet, watching him with new appreciation as he stooped to collect his suitcase. He turned to her with a smile of his own and offered her his arm in a dramatic gesture. "Shall we?

Buffy smothered another laughing fit, mocked a curtsey and threaded her arm through his. She felt giddy, and after the stark darkness of her recent weeks in the land of the living she wasn't totally sure how to do deal with the feeling. "Let's shall."

Before they left the courtyard, Giles stopped and looked back at the apartment. Buffy read his mind and looked back as well. "Do you think this place is still for rent?"

"I might have to look into it," he replied with twinkling eyes, gazing down at her. "But for now, I am quite content to survive on your sofa a bit longer." She raised an eyebrow at him and he gave a modest shrug. "Just to make sure you and Dawn are settled in, before I find my own place." A new thought occurred to him and he groaned as they headed towards the cab waiting on the curb.

"What?" Buffy inquired.

"How am I ever going to explain to Anya that I'm not leaving _again_?"

"She'll probably wreak horrible vengeance upon you," Buffy stated matter-of-factly. "But deep down inside, she'll be glad you're staying. They all will."

He opened the taxi door for her and handed her inside. "And what exactly am I staying as, Buffy?" He needed to hear her say it out loud, just once.

She looked up at him and smiled again. Her face was beginning to remember the muscle contractions that accompanied the movement. "The highly successful owner of the Magic Box. My Watcher. The patriarch of our little family…and my friend, who I need close by to get back on my feet, and to come to for advice at any time of the day or night. You're a member of the family, and we want you home where you belong."

Giles smiled one of his rare, full-blown smiles. "That sounds like the kind of life I could get used to." He slid into the cab next to her and shut the door against the cold outside.

"Good," Buffy replied with a satisfied sigh. She snuggled into his side, and after a moment of surprised hesitation he put an arm around her shoulders. With one last look at the misty courtyard outside, he turned to the driver. "Revello Drive, please."

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Author's Note: This was an idea that just wouldn't leave me alone, so I wrote it. I was challenged to find an authentic way of getting Giles to stay. Tell me if you think I pulled it off or not.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2**

In the end, Buffy was right. Giles sucked it up and used Buffy's cellphone to call Xander and Anya's apartment. His business partner picked up the phone on the second ring. After the yelling and the righteous indignation petered off, Anya was more than glad to have Giles back.

Xander's response was much more low-key than his fiancé's. "I didn't figure you'd even make it to the airport, G-man. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tara, when Giles called her next, managed to be happy for him despite her own heartbreak. The tears staining her voice were tangible even over their short conversation, and they set up a lunch date for the following week.

It was Dawn's reception, out of all of them, that surprised the British man the most. He had walked into the house with Buffy that night when he should have been at the airport to find Dawn waiting at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed severely. Without a word, the teenager marched over to Giles and smacked him, _hard_, in the middle of the chest.

"Dawn!" Buffy reprimanded indignantly.

Her little sister ignored her and glared up at Giles, looking so much like her mother just for that one moment that the Watcher had flashbacks to his first conversations with Joyce. Even her voice held the same note of steely determination. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Yes," he replied without hesitation. "Though to be fair, you both have made at least as many mistakes as I have, and together you're barely half my age." That earned him a playful smack from Buffy as well, and then before any of them knew what was happening the three of them were hugging, Dawn was crying and Giles was promising her a hundred times that he would never, _ever_ leave them again.

"Cross your heart and hope to die?" Dawn finally ascertained, stepping back and wiping her eyes. Giles nodded solemnly, his stony expression completely betrayed by the light dancing in his eyes. The younger Summers girl smiled brightly. "Good! Because I'd really hate to have to slay you."

He shook his head in mock bemusement. "You truly are a Summers woman, I'll give you that." He gaze strayed to the stairs and his face lost any trace of humor. Buffy had filled him in on Tara's departure. His heart bled for the sweet girl, but he sent silent support to her. She had done the right thing. But that also meant that she and Willow had a mountain of painful issues to work through. "Is Willow…"

"In her room," Buffy confirmed after a glance at Dawn to make sure she was right. She took Giles' bag. "I'll make some tea, if you can get her to come down and drink some." At his warning look, she held up her hands in defense. "I tried right after Tara left! She won't even let me in the room."

He nodded thoughtfully, sending her an apologetic glance. Dawn looked nervously up the stairs and then back at Giles. "She's just sitting there crying. She won't even talk in sentences."

"Dawn," Buffy said gently, "Why don't you help me in the kitchen for a bit? We can put on that stupid Spanish channel Mom always made fun of."

It was almost like she'd never left. Giles and Dawn traded a heartfelt glance full of, _Maybe this is our Buffy after all_.

Giles waited until he heard a crooning voice start up on the kitchen radio to remove his jacket, peel off his gloves and--in a deliberately permanent gesture--toe off his shoes before making his way upstairs.

He found Willow in her room, sitting on the floor with her back against the bed. Her green eyes stared blankly into space, tears still trickling lazily down her cheeks. She acknowledged his presence with a flicker of her watered-down eyes before staring off into nothing again. Giles padded over to her and lowered himself down next to her, bending his knees and propping his forearms on them.

Silence reigned between them, until finally Willow spoke without looking at him. "You came back." Her voice was cracked and quiet. She could feel the darkness of her situation closing in around her, and her demeanor was distant, hopeless.

"Yes," he replied unnecessarily.

"Why?"

He took a deep breath. "Buffy and I reached an understanding."

"You always do," the witch replied with what could have been a note of bitterness in her voice. "You could never stay away."

"No," Giles agreed thoughtfully. "I think that we both came to the conclusion that without you lot I am an utter mess."

What could have been an attempt at a smile touched the redhead's face, but the empty humor didn't even begin to reach her eyes. "Tara left," she said instead.

"I know," he murmured softly.

"She said that-that I was using her. Setting the parameters of our relationship. She said-" Willow's voice broke dangerously, and for the first time she turned to look at Giles. "She said that what I did, trying to erase our fight, was just as bad as what Glory did to her."

His head turned to meet her gaze. "Was she wrong, Willow?"

At his quiet question, she broke down completely. With horrified recognition, Willow shook her head. "No! She…she-" the witch couldn't even finish the sentence. Sobs tore through her body and her head fell into her hands, tears pouring from between her fingers.

The Englishman was faced with a sudden decision. Physical contact with Buffy was startling enough…would solace to Willow be wanted, let alone appropriate?

It was barely a token thought. One of his friends was hurting and he was not going to sit by and watch. Giles reached out to pull her into his lap, cradling her against his much larger frame. The young woman shuddered as she cried into his shoulder, and Giles closed his eyes and murmured soothing noises to her.

What had happened to the Willow that he'd met in the Sunnydale High library? Where was the innocent, wise-beyond-her-years girl with a zest for life and a budding interest in magick? When had she--when had they _all_--grown up into the adults that he saw now, with their own horrors and nightmares and pains?

They weren't children any more, and they didn't need an adult around to make their decisions for them. But, Giles realized with a sudden burst of clarity, they needed someone to listen, and in that capacity at least he could still be here for them. He turned his head to murmur into the witch's ear. "You need help, Willow."

She pulled back and stared at him with miserable eyes, and for a moment she looked so much like her sixteen-year-old self that Giles nearly choked. But she wasn't that girl any more. She was a beautiful, smart young woman with a dangerous addiction. And she was looking to him for help. "I know," she said softly, and her tears finally abated. "What do I have to do, Giles?

"We'll come up with a plan." He reached out to brush a wet strand of red hair behind her ear. "This isn't going to be easy."

"I know," she said firmly, looking him in the eye. "Tara…Tara is my _everything_. I need to do this, Giles. I have to."

That was something, at least. "Yes, you do." He took a deep breath and stood, ignoring his creaking joints. Giles helped her up and for a moment they just stood looking at each other before Giles offered her a very small, but sincere, smile. "For starters, you can come downstairs with me and get some tea."

"I think I can do that," she said in a small voice. The tiny attempt at a smile she gave him still didn't reach her eyes, but it was a start. He put a hand on the small of her back as they headed towards the hallway. Just before they reached the door, Willow turned to him. "Giles?"

"Hmm?" he responded, looking down at her expectantly.

"How did she get you to stay?"

He smiled softly at her. "She told me I could leave."

Willow nodded with a hint of pride. "Buffy can be a smart girl sometimes."

"You all have your moments," he agreed teasingly.

With a shared understanding look, the two friends headed towards the stairs. The darkness, Willow reflected, didn't look quite as black when there was someone next to you to help you through it.

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Author's Note: A distraught Willow is really tough to write, it turns out. A sympathetic Giles who manages to stay in character is just as hard! I really felt the need for some kind of emotional wrapup between these two, and for this AU storyline I thought this managed to sounds like them and still get the right sense of closure. Feel free to drop a line and tell me what you thought of it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

It was late when Dawn and Willow finally trudged upstairs to bed. Buffy went to get sheets out of the linen closet while Giles stood at the living room window, gazing out at the darkened street. He turned as Buffy entered with an armful of blankets. To his surprise, the sheets were a distinguished shade of forest green instead of the puppy dog and rainbow pattern he had been expecting.

His mind flashed back to a conversation he'd had with Joyce nearly a year ago. She had just bought those green sheets in Buffy's arms, and he had helped her carry them into the house from her car when he'd come to pick Buffy up for training. The woman had been ridiculously excited about the deal she'd gotten on them, but her enthusiasm had been so infectious that Giles hadn't been able to help the grin that stayed on his face through most of the conversation.

"You finally found them, I see," he noted with approval, coming back to the present. He helped Buffy tuck the first sheet in around the sofa cushions.

"Mom hid them underneath her bed. I never thought to look there until Willow just mentioned that something was keeping her from sliding her suitcase all the way underneath." They finished tucking in the second blanket.

Giles resisted the urge to ask why Willow had been moving her suitcase at all and settled on a safer subject. "Well I must say these are a refreshing change."

"I thought you said the other ones were 'whimsical,'" she teased him.

"Yes," he agreed reluctantly. "Though too much whimsy is enough to damper even the most stalwart British spirit." They unfolded the dark green patch quilt and let it settle over the completed makeshift bed.

Buffy nodded with satisfaction. "Do you need anything else?"

Giles shook his head. "Everything I need is right here." The warmth in his voice radiated from his eyes.

Buffy resisted the urge to blush. _Don't be stupid. That's not what he meant._ It was a surefire sign that she was exhausted when she started reading into innocent comments from _Giles_, of all people. The clock struck one and the Slayer looked at it in surprise. "I should leave you alone so you can get some sleep," she remarked.

"It has been a tremendously long day," her companion agreed. Neither of them moved.

When it became clear that neither of them were planning on sleeping any time soon, Giles sat on the blanketed couch and patted the seat next to him. Buffy accepted the silent invitation and sat, both of them still silent as they attempted to process the events of the day. Had it only been this morning that they'd all woken up without their memories? Finally, Buffy spoke her thoughts aloud. "Do you think Willow and Tara will figure things out?"

He shook his head helplessly and turned in his seat to face her, his arm coming to rest along the back of the couch. "I don't know, Buffy." She looked up in surprise at his uncertainty, and he heaved a tired-sounding sigh. "Willow made a very serious mistake. She has a lot of things to decide before she's in any condition to think about being in a relationship again."

Buffy's eyes were deep with sorrow. "They love each other." The way she said it almost made it sound like a bad thing.

"Yes," he agreed, though whether to her tone or her actual words he wasn't sure. "But you and I both know that while that will help them both a great deal, love on its own is not enough."

She acknowledged this sadly and silence reigned again for several minutes. This time, it was Giles who articulated his thoughts. "What are you going to do about Spike?" He looked deliberately away from her as he asked this, silently dreading her answer.

Buffy had been thinking about this all evening and she believed that she'd finally found the right answer. "I'm going to apologize," she said decisively.

Giles blinked and turned his head to see her face. "Sorry?"

"For leading him on," Buffy clarified. Her ex-Watcher's shoulders slumped with relief, but he managed to keep his composure. Buffy caught the release of tension in the muscles around his neck but chose not to comment as she continued. "I mean, he was totally twisted for going for it while I was so upset, but he deserves to know that I made a mistake letting him. And I'm going to need him. I-I'm still not sure about doing patrol on my own when I don't feel up to it. And I trust him to protect Dawn."

Giles' eyes glowed with approval and amazement. "How did you come back so quickly? Only this morning, you would have never reached that conclusion on your own."

"Sure I would have," Buffy replied bitterly. "It just would have taken a couple months of me sleeping with him first."

Giles shuddered. "Please, Buffy. Don't even jest."

"Sorry." With a sigh of her own, Buffy leaned into him, her arm going across his stomach as her head came to rest on his shoulder. He tensed for a moment and Buffy feared he would pull away, but then he relaxed and the arm along the back of the couch fell to circle her shoulders.

They stayed that way for a full minute before Giles looked down at her again. "What are you thinking?" he inquired softly. His mind refused to accept the intimacy of the entire situation. _You're tired, old man._ It was a surefire sign of exhaustion when he started reading into innocent gestures of affection from _Buffy_, of all people.

"You almost left," she replied simply. "Again."

He couldn't control the wince that flashed across his face, both at the fact that she'd found out about his plans during her first year of college and at the memory of his departure only a month ago…that she hadn't been here to experience. It seemed like a lifetime since the others had surprised him at the airport. Buffy didn't miss the expression and she took a deep breath before continuing. "Why did you leave? After I--" she still couldn't say it. "After I was gone?"

Giles closed his eyes and leaned back, his arm leaving her shoulders and his head coming to rest on the back of the couch so he looked up at the ceiling. "It would have killed me to stay," he said at last in a voice that rang with the faint echoes of still fresh misery. "I couldn't walk around this bloody town and pretend to be the strong one when--" he cut off in pain, eyes clenched shut. Buffy waited patiently. Even with her Slayer hearing she barely heard him finish his thought. "When it felt like I'd been buried with you."

Impulsively she reached out and took his clenched hand in hers. Giles held it like it was his only lifeline to the world. As far as he was concerned, it was.

Buffy was shocked at how much Giles seemed to need this physical contact. She'd always just assumed that he chose to remain aloof from her and the others. The only time they'd ever really touched before this was during training or in moment of serious emotional badness.

_No,_ a little voice contradicted her. _That's not exactly true… _

The voice was right. Looking back even into their high school years, Buffy realized that her Watcher had always been very tactile: a hand on Willow's shoulder when he leaned in to read something off the computer screen, a light smack to the back of Xander's head when the young man made an irreverent comment about his age, a reassuring touch on Buffy's arm when she was upset.

Buffy heaved a sigh and settled into his side, still holding the hand that she'd grabbed. His other arm came to rest on her shoulders again. "We're both here now, Giles." It was unclear which of them she was trying to reassure.

The Englishman was struck once again at how much physical contact his Slayer had willingly initiated in the last few hours. What in the world had gotten into her? He knew he was probably taking advantage of her emotional distress; he highly doubted that she would continue to be so tactile when she finally got her feet back on solid ground. The thought made him uneasy and he was tempted to shift away, trying to feel guilty about having her leaning against him and failing miserably. _She doesn't mean it as anything, and you know it._ But with her in his arms it was so easy to pretend…

_Pretend what? _Giles was shocked at his own thoughts. …But was it really so shocking? He knew that if he gave himself time to think about it, it would be incredibly easy to figure out exactly where that idea had come from and how long it had been hiding in the back of his brain waiting for a moment of weakness to pounce on his unsuspecting conscious mind.

He'd worry about that later. Right now, he just didn't have the energy for it.

Apparently, neither did Buffy. Her breathing slowed rapidly and he looked down in surprise to see his Slayer sound asleep, her head pillowed against his chest. His heart nearly burst at the innocence on her face as the creases that lined her eyes during the day melted away. Giles knew for a fact that this was the most peaceful sleep she'd had since he'd come back, and if he had to guess, probably since she's been resurrected. He knew because he had, without fail, been woken every night by her slipping into the kitchen and out into the yard to escape her nightmares.

She wasn't the only one. More often than not, when Giles awoke it was from his own dark dreams.

It took only a moment to shift them both on the couch so she lay nestled in his arms. He nearly convinced himself that this was for her benefit, but he knew it was as much for his as anyone's. _Just one night of rest,_ he begged whatever deity cared to listen. _Just one night that isn't plagued by nightmares. _

He managed to pull the top quilt over them without disturbing her and reached to turn out the light. With one last, long look at the woman beside him and one last even longer denial that anything was out of the ordinary here, Giles turned off the lamp and plunged the room into darkness.

For the first time since Glory's tower, both Slayer and Watcher slept without dreams.

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Author's Note: I know, I know; it was a total talk-fest. But I liked it, so it stays :P. Since this story is only four chapters long, this is as far as the B/G goes, so if you don't like that kind of thing, don't worry. Reactions? Comments? This was a tough conversation to balance, since they just don't bring any of it up in the show (except for the Spike thing, but the circumstances with that are so weird I couldn't actually use Giles' reaction as a basis here.); it was a good challenge to still write them in voice while getting the point across.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When Giles woke the next morning, it was after eight o'clock and the sunlight streaming in from between the living room curtains hurt his eyes. He sat up and rubbed his hands across his face. After a minute of feeling around he discovered his glasses on the coffee table and slipped them on. A short note in Buffy's handwriting materialized into focus, lit up by the errant beam of light.

_"Giles—wanted to get some food for the house and take a walk in the park. Took Will with me. We're going to get mochas and catch up a little. Dawn's still in bed. You get breakfast duty!_

_ Buffy"_

A feeling very much like relief washed over him. He stood and stretched, wincing as his back popped from its abuse the night before. Giles rummaged through his suitcase still sitting in the entryway and ended up with the first outfit that came to hand. Half an hour later, he left the bathroom feeling relatively human again, freshly showered and donned in an old gray t-shirt and jeans.

Dawn looked up from reading the back of her cereal box as he came into the kitchen. "Aren't girls supposed to take longer in the shower than guys?"

He raised a haughty eyebrow at her and tried not to laugh. He turned to the stove and put the teakettle on. "As I have been informed by many women, including your sister, female time in a bathroom is relative; what is only a few minutes to the occupant can seem like hours to those outside."

The teen raised an eyebrow at him and pointedly chewed on a massive mouthful of sugarcoated chocolate puffs. Giles realized all at once that he would have missed her quite badly had he left. He settled across from her and blew across the surface of his tea. "Really, Dawn, I can't understand how someone of your intelligence can bear to digest something so unhealthy as that sugary rubbish."

Dawn swallowed and shook her head mournfully. "You really had no childhood, you know that? I mean seriously, did you have oatmeal like every day of your life before you came here?"

"No," he said stiffly. His green eyes twinkled a little. "I'll have you know that my mother only gave us oatmeal four times a week."

She was still laughing when the phone rang a minute later, so Giles picked it up. "Summers residence."

"G-man!" Xander's voice greeted him.

The British man heaved a heavy, heavy sigh. "Xander, one of these days, when you use that abysmal nickname again, I am simply going to go insane."

There was a thoughtful pause at the other end of the line before the younger man replied, "Don't see how we're gonna be able to tell the difference if you call your behavior now _sane_, Giles."

He chuckled despite himself. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Yeah," Xander said evenly. "We need to talk, do the man time thing. You free for lunch today? I've got the afternoon off."

Giles smiled softly, looking over at Dawn and taking a moment to watch the sunlight play across her lovely face. "There's nothing I'd like better. Come pick me up whenever you get off. I'll pay."

"You got it," Xander agreed with a smile in his voice. "And Giles? It's good to have you back."

"Thank you," the Watcher murmured. He reached out to tussle Dawn's hair as she walked by him and grinned at her shriek of indignation. He knew that somewhere in Sunnydale, Buffy and Willow were walking through a sunlit park. "It's good to be home."

They weren't out of the tunnel yet, Giles knew. But there was _hope, _at least, and that was something he'd forgotten existed.

For the first time since Buffy's death, Giles' mind was full of sunlight after a long, dark imprisonment to the whispers of the night.

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Author's Note: I had to get the Giles/Dawn moment in there, just because their relationship is such a fun thing. And a normal Dawn is one of the things I missed most in season 6. So, here it ends. Tell me what you thought of it. I greatly enjoyed writing this; it was a relief to find a mostly convincing outlet for all the "what ifs" left over after Tabula Rasa. And hey, if you really didn't like this, tell me why...and then go write your own. Thanks for the reading time and for your comments. Cheers!


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